‘All about love’ — Observations from an Uber driver

Andrew Mensah-Twumasi

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I’ve had 2 rides recently where we’ve discussed love and relationships. Content in which you can find on YouTube (links below).

My notes from one of them was -

“I really enjoyed this conversation because it was 1st time I’ve spoken with someone who has read ‘All about love’ by Bell Hooks. When I’ve heard people talk about the book, it’s only been from the perspective of a relationship, and not your family, community, and how these behaviours have evolved.”

“In a short space of time, I loved how the conversation evolved, touching on how specifically we like to be loved — family, friends, and relationships. Having experience, but reading books in reference to ‘All about love’ provides another perspective, but allows you to question things. Such as how she was raised, why she was raised that way, how she would like to raise her children, and having these discussions with her boyfriend.”

And my notes from the following was -

“It’s good to see that in modern society people still LOVE THE IDEA of having a family and growing old and grey, together!”

With that said, ‘loving the idea of having a family and growing old and grey, together’, how have we ended up with situations like my exert below (taken from my book ‘Hi, Andrew?! My Journey — the tales and journey of a ride-hailing-app driver)

Before we continue, I don’t want to sit on one side of the fence — predominantly telling stories about women.

With some of the chapters and stories, I just think I have better stories with women.

And when I look back, I think it’s because women are more open — to discussing things such as their problems and relationships.

There have been times when I’ve had couples in the back, and guys have REALLY put themselves in hot water. Treading on thin ice!

If I could I’d cough. Or nudge them to hint that they are going down a slippery slope. I would!

I’ve heard both men and women discussing their relationships.

Remarkably! I STILL defend some of my choices which were driven by emotion.

I CRINGE at some the things I’ve said and done! But like me, I’ve heard men discuss and declare their love for women.

Their partners! And make decisions I would question.
Like bro, you need to chill!
It’s amazing, because with where I am now — in relation to women, I do take my own advice — TO AN EXTENT, but I also find it very hard to follow logic.

Anyway! Just like men, I’ve overheard women. And I apologize for saying this — talking ABSOLUTE nonsense about relationships!

It’s funny! Because I hope we can share a laugh about how far apart both men and women can be sometimes.

There are times I’ve wanted to say, “No, no, no, don’t do that!”

And times I’ve been disgusted by someone’s behaviour.

I’ve wanted to say something, but of course, I can’t! And actually, I wouldn’t! It may cross the line and become unprofessional.

And actually, in not knowing them well enough, I may not be able to get through to them. So, it’d be a waste of time!

I picked up a couple from the Corinthia Hotel near Embankment. The guy said he had spent £600 on his girlfriend that weekend.

I’m assuming this is the cost of accommodation.
Have you seen the price of those rooms?!
They were arguing as I grabbed their things, and as they got in the car.
They continued to, and did so for the entire journey back to Hertfordshire.
The argument was over him asking if she could cover the fare back which was approx. £30-£40. She refused to!

He ended up ordering the ride.

“I just thought after spending £600 on you this weekend, you getting the cab wouldn’t be a problem.”

The argument that ensued cut deeper and exposed their genuine thoughts on each other.

She called him a tight prick!

He responded with, “You want a stunter! You want someone who’s going to stunt on you! That’s not me!

That’s not me!”

Wow! A tight prick!

(In Future’s voice) “It’s an evil world we live in!”
Look! I don’t know how much more context is needed — and I know its relative! But after spending £600, I don’t want to be called a tight prick!

I haven’t been in what I would call a serious relationship.

Not seeing people! A relationship…Through choices I’ve made, and of no fault of my own.

I believe there are good girls out there! And for women, there are good guys out there…But, with where I was in 2019 — things like this put me off.

I could have showed someone a good time on a 10th of that budget.

They were both guilty! … ‘Stunting’ as it were! Or ignoring the signs.

But as we know! With life, and with dating…The game is the game!!

What your thoughts?

As I’m writing this, I’m thinking love has evolved, and changed with the times. I’m sure there are benefits to this change, but there are also drawbacks. Examples of this would be — we’re not as warm and as loving as we once were. Well, that’s what it appears to be! Particularly with dating apps and the evolved hook-up-culture. Old-school values in relationships still exist, but they too appear to have evolved.

Again, your thoughts?

I’ll be here every week posting and sharing my stores and reflections. But you can find more content — POV in the car, and short form content via my IG/TikTok/YouTube Channel @andrewmensahjr. And before I forget my podcast also, full of short stories — ‘Hi, Andrew?! My Journey’ — available via Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and wherever you get your podcasts.

(Click Me!!) Link for my book ‘Hi, Andrew?! My Journey’

(Click Me!!) Link for my YouTube channel

(Click Me!!) Link for my Podcast

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